For the first time in over two centuries…

I’m revealing the SECRETS of how I leverage BANANAS to get

A Crap Ton Of Money

...and fuel my oddly satisfying "exotic car posing" addiction.

More bananas. More cars. More bragging about it.

Dear Reader,

Take a look at the number on this check.

real-douchepreneur-2.png

$1,000,000,000

That’s how much revenue I generated in a single paycheck in 1959.

Thanks to a few hidden banana secrets that make me money on autopilot.

Secrets so powerful, that they haven’t seen the light of day in centuries.

As you’re about to see…

Once you unlock these secrets, a world of unlimited potential will open for you.

You could easily make billions of dollars.

Multiply your current sales numbers in as little as 30 minutes…

And become an unstoppable bananapreneur doing multiple-figure days.

Funny thing though…

They don’t teach you these secrets in school.

The only place you can get the secrets to my success and explode your bottom line…

Is inside my groundbreaking book: Banana Secrets.

SEND ME MY COPY NOW!

This is a brand new banana methodology that’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.

From this day forward, forget trying to make money the hard way…

Hustling all day…

Or exhausting yourself by doing real work…

Because as you’re about to see, that’s NOT what will make you successful…

But banana secrets does!

Not only will I reveal all of my banana secrets inside Banana Secrets

I’ll also unload thousands of simple and massively profitable secrets that can be leveraged outside of the banana secrets industry as well.

This way, you can pose in a garage with an exotic Lambo i8 of your own as well.

What kind of secrets, you may ask?

Secrets like…

How to DESTROY the price objection once and for all...

 

And make your BANANAS appear more affordable than a simple cup of free water.

One fast way to explode your business?

Sell more of your top-shelf bananas.

The hard part though… is very few people like to pay top-shelf price.

You could try talking about value all day, but it rarely changes people’s minds…

Unless you know a few of my banana secrets.

Use my secrets in the right way… and customers will think your $20,000, $40,000, or even $100,000 banana bundles are a total STEAL.

Imagine if you could charge 100x MORE for the same bananas that you could barely sell before…

By framing the bananas in a way that makes them more appeeling (pun intended).

By amping up the perceived value with a load of B.S (Banana Secrets)

By turning ordinary bananas into something you can sell as a high-ticket item.

If you could do this… you’d be rich.

Hell, you could even make enough money to go mega-yacht shopping, like I did…

looking_at_yachts.jpg

(I ended up buying all of these Yachts after this photo was taken.)

But, it’s true.

If you’re not getting in on these secrets you’re missing out.

Legendary marketers worldwide already use this trick to sell their own premium bananas.

I explain this miracle trick on page 964, with a REAL example of the tactic in action.

If you did this trick, you could theoretically make an extra $6 billion dollars a year!

Many marketers never even think about this tactic either…

But ignore this one simple yet highly underrated strategy, and you could be leaving BILLIONS on the table.

I also talk about another strategy in the book called the “Banana DNA” method.

It’s very difficult to execute if you don’t know what you’re doing, but I reveal the entire step-by-step process in full for you in the book on page 325.

Heck, the last time I unleashed this Banana DNA method…

I made enough $$$ to buy TWO watches that were worth over $2 billion each.

double-rolex.png

Crazy right?

That’s like going from homeless to extremely rich overnight.

Stretch that out and that would mean an extra few trillion dollars in a year.

With you barely doing ANY work at all.

But yeah…

These are just two massive $$$ making secrets you can use to almost literally print money today.

And what makes these secrets so incredibly powerful?

They work WITH human psychology…

To make customers really desire your bananas.

So instead of feeling like a slimy fruit salesman…

You can just use these techniques to instantly trigger the decision-making part of your customer’s brain.

And get them to BUY.

Because Banana Secrets is not like any “book” you’ve ever read before…

It’s more like…

A Manual For How To Literally Print Money By Taking Over The Decision-Making Part of Your Customer’s Brain.

Once you learn how to do this…

A world of unlimited potential will open up to you, and you’ll be able to be more productive than ever.

And be the ULTIMATE poser.

Living the laptop lifestyle of your dreams… posing on top of a red Ferrari.

working-on-hood.png

Internet Marketer Makes Shocking Discovery About Why Your Customers Want Your Bananas

When I first discovered this secret tribe of buyers, I had to find out if there was any good reason why people would want luxury bananas.

That’s when I found out about a famous internet marketer code-named “Chad.”

And the shocking discovery he made with his friend…

Who also had a similar code-name: Chad.

You see, Chad (the second one) was once a successful businessman before the accident.

He was foraging for bananas… and got hit in the head with a giant banana.

But the story gets even worse.

Like, way worse.

The giant banana that fell on him was carrying a highly infectious disease that turned his fingers into banana-like appendages.

Sickly appendages.

With pus and bile oozing out of dozens of huge gaping sores.

It was a terrifying sight to behold, to say the least.

The accident messed with his mental faculties as well.

He failed almost all IQ tests.

He did horrible on memory tests.

And he could barely function.

But then, something strange happened…

Chad suddenly made a FULL RECOVERY after eating 10 bananas a day for 2 months straight.

No more banana fingers, and no more barely functional brain. Overnight.

Not only did he make a full recovery, but he became filthy rich…

How?

Duh. He read my book.

After he finished the final chapter of Banana Secrets, he made enough money to buy this giant mansion… in cash.

Incredible, right?

Anyway, Chad was thoroughly impressed and decided to join his friend Chad and eat bananas too.

Before long, both of them were multi-billionaires… all because of my book!

The truth is…

Luxury bananas could reverse brain damage caused by normal bananas.

But not only that… they could make you richer than your wildest dreams.

So you see…

There’s a huge market out there for these bananas of the luxury variety.

Here’s the thing…

Trying to sell normal bananas will result in you spinning your wheels, bashing your head against the wall.

Luxury bananas are the next big thing.

If you truly want to make more money while you do very little work.

You must start selling luxury bananas.

It’s hard though… I mean, what are luxury bananas?

Where can I find them?

You can only find the answers to these questions in my new book:

Banana Secrets.

Simply grab your copy of Banana Secrets and soon you could be driving a yellow Lamborghini like this one…

And so many more exotic cars.

You could learn how to harness the power of luxury bananas for yourself to make millions of dollars.

Because, really…

You can bet that your customers have bought something like your product before…

And they got BURNED.

Normal bananas posing as luxury bananas, even though it’s full of BS.

Bad bananas exist, and they make your customers jaded and highly skeptical.

That’s why you absolutely must stand out…

You must offer something UNIQUE to your audience.

Otherwise you’ll quickly be dismissed as selling the same old bananas.

Which is why I’ve dedicated an entire section in Banana Secrets to helping you solve this exact problem, starting on page 1,213.

You’ll discover 283,734 special methods to make YOUR bananas stand out.

So that they can go from looking like basic ugly bananas like this…

dull-bananas.jpg

Sad, right?

To luxurious bananas that will put cash in your pocket on autopilot.

Bananas that’ll make you (and your customers) scream in ecstasy every time you eat them.

But most importantly…

Bananas that you could turn into massive multi-trillion dollar profits overnight.

Bananas like these.

saturated-bananas.jpg

Enticing and potentially delicious.

These bananas are luxurious as hell.

Whether you just want more streams of completely passive income…

Or you’re someone who just wants to make money without working….

Or you’re just trying to learn better ways to scam people using internet marketing…

You can use these 283 methods to stand out immediately (Just see page 12,393).

Luxury bananas are a way of life.

In fact, you’ll probably never see me without a few planted by my side.

ferrari-new.jpg

They’ve become a status symbol, really.

Everybody wants them, but not many people can afford them.

So the best bananapreneurs in the world know how to frame it in a way that rips people off without them feeling ripped off.

Using marketing.

Genius, right?

This will feel kind of scary at first, maybe even a little intimidating…

But it works!

And could help you make 100-100,000 times more sales (depending on how smart you are).

In seconds.

On autopilot.

Without doing ANYTHING at all.

In fact, I got this green Lamborghini after scamming two infants out of $10, and then multiplied it by 1,000x using my Banana Secrets.

lambo-shopped.jpg

(note: I accidentally pointed to my crotch in this photo please ignore that)

But yeah…

Learning banana secrets changed my life.

Most rookie bananapreneurs don’t know what they’re talking about.

Because they don’t understand how to effectively sell bananas!

Here’s the secret…

There are four critical things you must do, or your banana dominion will fail almost immediately.

If you do these four things right, you don’t really even need to do anything else, really.

This secret is revealed on page 132.

These are just a couple more secrets you’ll find inside Banana Secrets.

Anybody can use these secrets to make an almost infinite amount of money and live the life of their dreams.

And bring in $$$ while they ZZZ.

SEND ME MY COPY NOW!

They Don't Teach You How To Flip Bananas Like This In School

I haven’t seen anyone else explain how to flip bananas before.

But while working at one of the largest banana farms in the world, I discovered how to do just that.

And it helped me generate millions of banana sales… overnight.

My name, by the way, is Daniel Doan.

But most people just call me Mr. Bananapreneur, or The Banana Copywriter.

For the past two hundred years, I’ve been writing high-performing direct response sales letters to sell luxury bananas.

The company I work with is the #1 most successful bananas company in the world, selling more bananas per minute than the second largest banana company in the world.

And the best part?

I work totally remote.

Writing banana copy anywhere I want, whenever I want…

And I’m often sought out to take photos with the world’s most famous people.

Like this guy below… one of the most prolific marketers in the world.

Author of the future NYT Bestseller, Ditch The Act.

Over 12,000,000 reads on Quora, and boasting a Twitter account with…

Over 600,000 followers.

leonard.jpg
 

Yep, Leonard Kim.

He’s a real celebrity (seriously, he’s pretty famous — just Google him).

He’s probably more famous than you and your mother… combined.

But yeah…

I even convinced him to take part in a luxury banana summoning ritual with me.

We bent our bodies in the shape of a banana…

A followed a set of rules that allowed bananas inside the car to instantly TRANSFORM into luxury bananas.

(The steps to this ritual can be found on page 543 of my book, Banana Secrets.)

On top of that, I’ve hung out with even MORE famous people.

Case in point, I gave some luxury bananas to one of the most famous pop singers in the world.

Who made his mark as one of the most-watched American Idol stars of all time.

Yep, the man himself, William Hung.

 
william_hung.png

No, this isn’t a lame William Hung impersonator in Vegas somewhere.

It's ACTUALLY him.

As you can clearly see, I’m pretty cool.

And it’s been a crazy few years.

Hanging out with really famous people has changed my life.

It really elevated my social proof to the next level…

Turning me from a hopeless penniless ninny who ate sewer rats for breakfast….

Who kept choking on bananas… struggling to even eat one.

To one of the most prolific bananapreneurs today.

A revered public speaker who talks about luxury bananas at every chance he gets in public.

And a legend who can eat 10 bananas a day.

All day.

Every. Single. Day.

These days?

Thanks to being spotted in photographs with people like this…

I’m now perceived one of the best bananapreneurs in the world.

I’m just not another fly by night guru — I’m a real bananapreneur.

 

It Took Me Almost 200 Years Before

I Discovered My Banana Secrets

 

I wasn’t always a successful bananapreneur.

As a matter of fact, I struggled to do much of anything for over 200 YEARS.

I wrote countless blog posts on bananas that went nowhere…

I tried building a social media following but all my accounts got banned…

I asked for help with banana dropshipping on Facebook groups…

And none of the advice worked!

Eventually I became broke, depressed, sad, miserable, deplorable, and deranged.

In a moment of weakness, I was caught sobbing in my bedroom holding a cup with the word “BROKE” on it.

That’s how bad it was.

broke.png

Even with friends and family trying to help me out…

I burned through my savings and maxed out all 50 of my credit cards.

My dream of becoming a bananapreneur was shattered.

I almost gave up.

I almost became so sad that I cried.

Then I wrote and subsequently read a book called Banana Secrets… and gained access to all of my secrets.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

I spent several hours in grueling study…

Asking questions, reading hundreds and thousands of pages.

And over time… the secrets “appeared” to me.

Interesting patterns emerged.

Everything just made sense.

THIS was the secret to making money beyond my wildest dreams.

I generated so many sales calls…

That I had to hire a full-time assistant to hold a third phone up to my ear so I could close multiple deals at once.

67087440_10156588847902371_2436921867739594752_n.jpg

(talking to three people at the same time is actually a lot easier than it looks)

Trust me. But, yeah…

I discovered how to literally print money with banana funnels.

And I decided to put what I discovered to the test.

And the result was clear.

Before long, I had generated over...

$358,293,203,480,484,949,2990 in a single year.

To think, it was only 75 years ago that I had absolutely nothing.

And I’ll never forget how embarrassing it was to struggle on the streets.

I don’t want anyone else to struggle the way I did.

So, I’ve created a way for anyone to unlock my banana secrets.

And unlock an almost infinite amount of cash.

So much cash that I get jealous haters peeing on my massive lawn (shown below).

guy-peeing.jpg

This lifestyle isn’t that hard to achieve.

In fact, it’s pretty easy… anyone can do it.

You don’t need much, really.

You don’t need to be smart.

You don’t need to be talented.

Heck, you don’t even need a brain.

You just need to know how to read my book…

And, you too, can drive a green Lamborghini like this while closing multiple-figure deals on the phone (don’t try this at home).

greenlambo.jpg
 

Before Now, Nobody In The World

Had A Shot At Learning The Banana

Secrets I'm Offering Today...

 

That’s all about to change.

I’m pulling back the curtains on all of my banana secrets inside my brand-new book, Banana Secrets.

You could use this secret language in your business to profit from…

The Banana Cannon: The SIMPLEST two-step trick to sell luxury bananas in ANY market.

Now you can activate a specific area of your customer’s brain that “magically” gets them in the mindset to buy bananas from you.

But remember, you must know exactly how to trigger it…

Or it won’t work at all.

Luckily, it’s so easy to do... if you know what you’re doing.

Using this hack is non-negotiable if you want to make real profits with bananas.

You’ll find details all about the The Banana Cannon starting on page 3,254 of my brand-new book: Banana Secrets.

 
SEND ME MY COPY NOW!

The Deliciously Luxurious Bananas Your Audience Will Crave

 

Many studies have shown that your customers don’t really want to eat bananas.

At least not at first.

Even if you have perfectly shaped bananas, free of bruises.

This innate anti-banana instinct will repel folks who SHOULD be your customers…

Making them run in the totally wrong direction – AWAY from giving you $$$.

So, what’s the secret to overcoming this?

It’s in my book, Banana Secrets.

Yep, it’s as as simple as hopping in this yellow Lamborghini, putting it into drive…

And mashing on the accelerator pedal.

It’s that easy.

And it’s backed by science as well…

A recent study by a pretty famous psychology professor uncovered there’s only ONE hidden trigger that’ll defuse their anti-banana sentiment for good.

Unlock and abuse this knowledge…

And you can get ANYONE to say YES to your bananas.

Yes, that isn’t an exaggeration. When I say anyone, I mean ANYONE.

Customers could be stampeding to get their hands on your bananas.

All day. Every day.

Turn to page 4,974 inside my brand-new book, Banana Secrets, to see exactly how to turn your customers’ banana doubts upside-down…

So you can get a yellow banana-colored Porsche of your own.

Now, I know you might be thinking...

Is this guy for real?

Is he another fake guru trying to sell me shit I don’t need?

Is he trying to scam me out of my hard-earned money?

Well, let me be 100% upfront with you.

Let me tell you the #1 reason most “gurus” fail you…

If you’ve spent tons of money on books and other products from “gurus”…

Only to see little to no results…

It’s not your fault.

Right out of the gate, on page 385, I’ll explain exactly why most gurus fail to help you at all.

Most gurus are dumb, and they OVERLOOK one thing when teaching…

The most important lesson of all, really.

No wonder you haven’t been seeing results with those losers.

But not with me (I swear).

I’m presenting a brand new, powerful methodology that will get people’s hands on your bananas sooner than you can finish this strangely long sentence.

This is the same methodology I developed working beside the top bananapreneurs in the world.

And helped me bring in over eight trillion dollars in just 48 hours at one point.

I mean, before I learned these secrets, I was driving around in an old beat up red Toyota Camry with a missing hubcap…

image-asset (2).jpg

Pretty sad, I know.

Just look at those crumpled papers and fast-food wrappers.

Look at that 1993 steering wheel. It’s older than me.

But shortly after I made eight trillion dollars… I knew my life would be changed forever.

And I gave this Camry to my dog, Cavendish…

Who currently uses it as a large chew toy.

Seriously, though…

 

Stop Driving Beat Up Toyota Camrys.

Steal My Banana Secrets.

 

You’re a smart banana.

So, I hope by now you see just how important it is that you learn these secrets.

Secrets that you cannot get ANYWHERE ELSE.

After unlocking these secrets by reading my own book…

I ended up making over...

$385,493,201,384,283,294 sales in less than 12 hours.

Bet you can’t do that any time soon.

I haven’t seen it demonstrated by any other “guru” I’ve come across.

The only place you can unlock these secrets?

Again, it’s inside my groundbreaking book: Banana Secrets.

Simply click the button below to get your free copy now.

 
SEND ME MY COPY NOW!

You could uncover powerful banana secrets that could completely transform your life and make you a BILLIONAIRE.

 
 
  • 15 easy ways to turn normal bananas into luxury bananas. This is the secret to printing money on demand by creating a banana funnel! (Page 133)

  • How to present yourself as THE authority on bananas in your niche without using a single case study, testimonial, or having any real credibility. (Page 86)

  • Three things to NOT DO when first starting out flipping bananas. Even if you did EVERYTHING right, if you mess this up, you’re a total idiot. (Page 123)

  • The most common mistake that ruins most bananapreneurs. So many business owners get this wrong and they don’t even know it! (Page 38)

  • The #1 psychological tactic that will make people and pets cry. Yes, this will make your dog burst into tears on command. This won’t really help you make more money, but it’ll help to make you more of a douchebag. (Page 843)

 
 
 

You don’t want to end up being all depressed posing in front of a cheap wimpy $50,000 BMW 3-Series, do you?

 
 

(my answer: no, you don’t — that’s just sad and makes you look like you can’t afford to life a laptop lifestyle — I was mortified just posing for this photo)

Instead...

 
 
 

You want to be in front of an overpriced exotic car with butterfly doors.

Just like this one...

 
Photo Sep 22, 5 41 04 AM.jpg
 

Don’t I look pretty badass?

Hell yeah, I do.

You, too, could look this badass if you get my new book, Banana Secrets.

But Don’t Just Take My Word For It…
See What Other Folks Are Saying About My Work As A Serial Bananapreneur!

"Daniel is one of the best bananapreneurs ever."

 

Over the past year and a half I've generated about $10 billion dollars in sales selling luxury bananas.

There aren't a lot of people in this business that I'd openly admit are as good as me, but Daniel is on that list.

Not only is Daniel the real deal...

He is one of the best bananapreneurs in the world.

Anyone who is even considering a career as a bananapreneur should listen to every word he says...

His advice could make you trillions of dollars overnight. Guaranteed.

— Chad T, Award-Winning Bananapreneur

 

 

"Shed FIFTY YEARS Off Your Bananapreneur LEARNING Curve…"

 

Hi, my name is Babby — I'm a brand new bananapreneur.

Over the past 12 hours, my business has produced over 10 billion in sales...

And I can say, with 100% certainty, that this wouldn't be possible without the secrets you'll discover inside Daniel’s newest book, Banana Secrets.

If you have any interest in making a lot of money but consider yourself kind of dumb... do yourself a favor and get a copy of Daniel’s newest book.

It'll shed 50 years or more off your learning curve and turn you into a bananapreneur overnight.

— Babo O, Newly Minted Bananapreneur

 

 

"One of the best ‘GET RICH IMMEDIATELY’ books of all time!

It’s a must read."

 

I wouldn’t be surprised to see this book become a required read for anyone trying to make passive income in the banana industry.

Up until I read this book, I was lost, confused, and stupid.

Now, I’m smart, rich, handsome, and successful.

This book even literally changed my face and helped me develop a defined and massively chiseled jawline.

I've never seen anyone else break down, reveal, and explain the entire bananapreneur process like this.

It’s very eye-opening and made me millions overnight.

— Jake T, Professional Con Artist

 

 
banana_bod2.png
 

I Guarantee You’ll LOVE My Bananas...

Or Your Money Back!

 

If you don’t think Banana Secrets was worth every penny…

Then I don’t deserve your money.

The book is free, but still… I’ll return your $0.00 and you can keep the book.

That’s how confident I am.

This book could help you live the life of your dreams.

 

Who Banana Secrets Is NOT For...

 

The secret strategies and tactics you’ll discover inside Banana Secrets is extremely powerful… and borderline illegal.

It allows you to tap directly into your customers and make them CRAVE your bananas.

As a result, you’ll have incredible influence over them.

You’ll be able to sell them thousands of bananas and they won’t be able to refuse.

So I would regret it if I didn’t clearly state...

Do NOT buy this book if you are not interested in making a lot of money.

I do NOT endorse using these secrets for any purpose other than leveraging the power of bananas to get filthy rich overnight.

I’m serious.

If you don’t want to filthy rich so you can afford exotic cars like this silver McLaren, don’t read this book.

mclaren.png

Once you read the secrets in my book, you could have it so good...

You might even regret being alive for so long without knowing these secrets.

Yes, my Banana Secrets is THAT powerful.

I mean, take a look at the photo below.

Yeah, that’s a photo of me... hard at work.

And by hard at work I mean relaxing on a beach somewhere in Bali.

Because, Balipreneurship is where it’s at.

Nothing compares to a luxurious life here.

And it’s all thanks to the power of one fruit…

Bananas.

Succulent, slender, and slightly phallic fruits that generate me multiple figures in revenue per minute in my sleep… all day, every day.

And yes… this could be you here in Bali.

But it’s not.

At least, not yet.

This lifestyle could be all yours.

If you just read my book.

You see, if you want to be an almost absurdly rich Balinanapreneur like me...

It’s not hard… you just have to know the right secrets.

Secrets that are contained exclusively within my book, Banana Secrets.

With that being said...

 

There’s Only One Thing Left To Do...

 

You have two choices now.

You can click away from this page and go back to life as a worthless, hopeless, and sad person.

Keep doing what you’ve always done… spinning your tires.

Frustrated, depressed, miserable.

Utterly sad.

And keep getting what you’ve always got… which is not much of anything probably.

While other folks use the secrets inside my book to get billions of dollars on autopilot.

Or you can make the choice to grab a copy of my groundbreaking book, Banana Secrets.

And discover the secret triggers that hijacks people’s brains…

...to get them addicted to bananas.

The very same triggers that have allowed me to live the laptop lifestyle of my dreams for the past 500 years.

Making millions of dollars an hour, building banana funnels inside this red Ferrari.

(Yep, it’s as uncomfortable as it looks, but it’s 100% worth it.)

This exotic car lifestyle can be yours.

But really… that choice is yours and yours alone.

If you decide you want to unlock my banana secrets…

All that’s left to do is click the button below and you can get started right away.

You’ll could make at least 1 million dollars tonight if you read the first chapter.

Anyway… the ball is in your court.

I’m glad you’ve read this far, and am looking forward to your success.

If you choose to move forward and read my secrets, that is.

Notice how I bolded those words above for maximum NLP.

To your success,

— Daniel “Bananapreneur” Doan

 
SEND ME MY COPY NOW!

P.S. The results are clear.

The secret insider-tactics contained within Banana Secrets could allow you to sell millions of bananas overnight and retire within the next few weeks.

I’ve personally used these tactics to generate over $54 billion dollars over the past two weeks alone.

These strategies are backed by science and proven by some of the best bananapreneurs in the world.

Once you unlock these secrets, a brand-new world of riches could open up to you.

Remember, they don’t teach you how to do this kind of stuff in school.

And I’ve never seen anyone else out there talk about it, either.

Yep, the only place you can discover these secrets is inside my groundbreaking book: Banana Secrets.

These secrets are exclusively mine… and have NEVER seen the light of day.

Well, except for just this one time…

When I gave a keynote speech on the streets in front of my Ferrari almost a century ago.

banana-keynote.jpg

But, that’s it… nowhere else.

These secrets have stayed LOCKED UP in my brain…

Until now.

And ever since the book launched a few weeks ago…

I’ve received hundreds of testimonials from people saying that Banana Secrets has radically changed their lives for the better.

One even calling it, “one of the best money-making banana books of all time.”

I have no doubts that this could help you make more money than you’ve ever dreamed.

So if you want to literally print money on autopilot using bananas…

Click the button below to claim your free book.

It will change your life.

Just kidding, it could change your life.

(don’t want the FTC to get involved)

 
SEND ME MY COPY NOW!
Disclaimer: This is satire. Banana Secrets is not a real book — my email list is real if you want to opt-in, though.